I don’t like saying canapes

Food — By Crust on May 14, 2009

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I made small menu items off the menu for people tonight at a party in Gastown. It was smooth, which was nice.

At Chow I found myself becoming jealous of a young apprentice because everyday he learned so much. I decided that I should go somewhere that was a great challenge for me. I wanted to go to Boneta because they do the most covers, they change the menu the most, and the chef checks everything during service. They are full, but I had hope for one day a week while I am working at The Diamond. High hopes, but today I found out that since Chow closed the apprentice is working there two days a week. So for sure no room for me. While preparing my canapes I had such a feeling of jealousy, and misery that I vowed to drop everything and move anywhere I could to get a job at a Michelin star restaurant with an inspiring tough chef. I’m not ready to be my own boss. Before the party I walked around outside Boneta in the rain crying and shaking, questioning my life. I walked by the Irish Heather and Ben gave me a pep talk and bought me a John Powers, Krista a server made me laugh and I reluctantly went back to do my job.

My Crew of two are really nice and the dishwasher gave me some chocolate because she said she eats chocolate when she is sad. The people liked the canapes.

I know jealousy is wrong, but sometimes I have fits of it.

8 Comments

  1. Mum says:

    Thank goodness for Ben, and Krista, and people who care enough to support you when you need it. I can hardly wait for you to come home so I can give you a hug and tell you everything is okay. Love, Mom xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  2. cam_13 says:

    Be glad you got a job right now dude…

  3. Colleen says:

    I think that the thing is, that jealousy gets you nowhere. Look at how upset you got. Instead of focusing on the the things that you perceive as unfair or wrong, you should be focusing on your goal….which is obviously learning.
    You can get your education in so many ways, Christie. Part of that education is doing the repetitive things that we do while cooking, so that we perfect our technique. And sometimes that technique can take subtle changes over the years to perfect.
    Read books, try stuff at home, search the internet, ask to try stuff at work, talk to other chefs about food while you are working…..get a good rapport with your chef and try to contribute to the menu. All of those things will help you in your education.
    Your problem right now is that you have hit that spot where you know a lot of basic stuff, and some specialty stuff, but you are disappointed that you are not learning new stuff each day. In restaurants, it is hard to learn new stuff each day after you reach a certain point. That is just the reality of the business. So instead of focusing on the fact that you aren’t learning exciting stuff at work every day, you should be taking your education into your own hands and doing the research and finding your own way. Heston Blumenthal certainly didn’t count on others to teach him everything that he knows.
    If you think that working in a challenging kitchen will help you, then by all means, go and do that. Take the bull by the horns, and make it happen. But allowing jealousy to overtake your focus is not good for your career. It will send you into doldrums that will make you want to quit the industry.
    And that would be too bad.
    So it is not that jealousy is wrong, it just serves no purpose towards getting to your goal.

  4. Torchon says:

    Stick at it Dude your a great chef cooking delicious food.

  5. Nathalie says:

    Envy hits the right note for me…. When you love it so, it’s inevitable.

    It passes with time.

    I love that you have the courage to discuss these things. It takes balls man.

  6. Dennis says:

    Christie,
    I don’t usaully post on people’s blogs or forums, but a few things I think you should remember the next time you feel a fit coming on. No matter how far you travel or who you go to work for, never rely on them to inspire you. Insiration comes from within, use the Chefs you work for and the Cooks you work with to motivate you to push towards your inspiration. I can honestly say that of the Chefs that I have worked for I have never used them to inspire me. They all how ever, motivate me to do work harder towards my goals. Secondly, no matter how long, or hard you work for. No matter how much you learn or who you learn it from, there will always be plenty of Chefs and Cooks that are better then you. I don’t mean that to be harsh, but it’s just a fact of life in all industries. So try and find the positive in where your at in your own career and worry about your own path and don’t waste your time worrying about what other people have. Thirdly, if you want to work at places where you learn everyday like Boneta, Chow, etc. etc..Then why go off your path and take a job where almost the entire focus will be on the Bar Program. No offence to the people opening it up, I’m sure it will be a very popular place to go. It just doesn’t seem to fit into the places you talk about wanting to work. Whenever I consider changing jobs or if someone offers me a job my first thought is, where after this next job will I be in my career. I’ve turned down a few jobs in the last year that would have paid me quite a bit of money, but to me it just didn’t make sense because it didn’t fit in with what I want out of my career. Hope at least some of this is helpful. It seems to work for me every now and then.

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